i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Happy graduation...we are now officially unemployed alcoholics!
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
He made me meet him in the baby department of walmart where he was waiting with his pregnant girlfriend. Time for a new dealer
I still can't believe that I ate McDonald's off of my chest in his bed...
Cross faded me is not the classiest.
No not at all haha I wish there was a picture of that
Dude. There are selfies on my phone of me, wide-eyed, sucking my pillow. We did NOT split that bag 50/50.
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sorry for trying to wake you up by slapping your ass with a fruit 2 go.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
I'm sorry for peeing on you last night. Will cookies make up for it?
Watching South Park, doing sit-ups and drinking tequila. In other words, my night is going pretty good.
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