My room smells like vodka and shame
didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
He didn't know it yet but he was about to go down on me.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
She's never allowed to turn 21 again
I don't remember. I remember laying in the trunk of a car. For hours.
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I got to her place and she was petting her cat and pounding vodka out of the bottle. She looked like Dr evil in yoga pants. She's nuttier than squirrell shit.
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
So, I woke up under a table with an alarm clock on my face, my hair in a bag of popcorn, and my phone charger wrapped around me.. what happened?
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
