So now everyone thinks I don't know what a condom is
if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
Jesus people on campus asked me what i do for joy. I said i love sinning especially pre-marital sex.
you just kept yelling NO BUENO SENOR at the cashier and throwing coins at him, of course you were going to get kicked out of the grocery store
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she went to her friend's wedding and caught the bouquet. as the unwilling rebound, can i run away now?
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
I can't. Currently naked covered in Nair trying desperately to catch his cat that rubbed up on my leg.
I hate that cat.
I went through my entire iTunes library and made a playlist called "Feelings". I have 7.5 hours of feelings.
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
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you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
After fooling around at the hotel til dawn, I managed to feed her with my free buffet passes. Tastes like sweet victory.
They have beer where we have blood.
You handed me an unpeeled grapefruit off the frat basement floor and then took a bite out of it.
True fear is being unable to remember where you hid your weed and vibrator in your parent's house.
This town is a penis wasteland. I haven't seen a suitable penis in months. This is becoming an emergency situation. I need penis in my life
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