and that's why we call him explosion in my pants. no one remembers his real name.
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
Does she usually listen to trance and cut up broccoli when she's high?
No He hasn't done that since the time he came in his own eye
Apparently he's into classy girls that wear sweaters and don't throw up on him when they go out.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
Hindsight: Dressing up in nothing but a bra, booty shorts, and police tape made for the most awkward walk of shame of my life.
I realize designer coke was a douchey thing to say but the point of the story is I did bath salts
Maybe snorting K off penises isn't healthy
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
Got so high i fell asleep kyaking...for 2 hours.
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
His dick is social distance approved
Social distance approved?
big enough for me to fuck from six feet away
If it makes you feel any better I almost got kicked out of the bar for yelling "enjoy your celebratory incest"
I love you.
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