Woke up this morning at my parent's house. No idea how I got here... what happened last night? Was it bad?
We using my standards or yours?
If I die tonight, wear a V neck to my funeral.
i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He felt like a one man threesome
he left me a note this morning. it said "thank you for letting me touch you"
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
I think I will be cutting those pills in half...Jesus just tried to sell me a toothbrush.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Strip mythology. Everyone wins. Most of all me.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
I just stood beside an Amish man and bought Cocoa Krispies and tampons.
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
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