if you dont talk to me in person you cant text me
when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
Just realized our kids will one day call us old because we were around when texting came about. I'm sad.
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
well at that point we were just fucking to keep warm.
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
He was supposed to visit me tonight but he decided to stop in Tacoma so now I'm sitting on my bed naked eating oranges and candy corn while I watch Parks and Rec.
Now I have to hook up with him tomorrow DURING THE DAY.
Beat the bartender in a shot challenge for a free tab. I won that, and him. I never get tired of the "this is my first time with a guy.." bullshit.
How do you even...
The magic of Christmas. And whiskey, of course.
Tbh the only thing I was fully concerned about from the dream was what type of fucked up parallel universe doesn't have Coca-Cola
There's a baby in the strip club. I say again: THERE'S A BABY IN THE STRIP CLUB
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
remember that party we went to sophomore year where we found that girl and had the orgy? Im totally at that house right now.
Randomize