we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
Why on earth are you answering my texts promptly? Thought for certain you'd be caught up in some ridiculous orgy by this time.
I'm that good.
is it mean to send ur x his condoms back because they are too small for ur new boyfriend?
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Dude, at this rate we're going to get arrested a second time tonight.
Fuckbuddy couldn't meet, so she's trying to find a substitute to come fuck me. Best. Fuckbuddy. Ever.
I cant believe they held hands while getting simultaneous bjs
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
We fucked. Had a political debate. I won. So I sat on his face.
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
I left my Bacardi and dignity in your freezer. Will come get it later.
He’s actually a personal trainer. He said he hasn’t taught yoga in a while but the stripper prefers to introduce him as a yoga teacher
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
Randomize
