He told me they were just razor bumps!
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I would explain the ketchup stains in the bed to him but saying I just got my period is so much less embarrassing...
it's all just a bunch of faces and i remember what the floor looked like.
Puking green right now......... jaimison mcflurry very bad idea
full cup flip cup was not exactly the reason I wanted to tell the cops when I was sleeping on the curb
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
Dude, she's the greatest salesman alive. she convinced chelsea to buy a box of Cheerios for $20. She can find your dick some willing pussy.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
Impressive. I've never gotten straight denied and then chased the guy naked out of my own apt. I'll remember that next time.
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
And then the night went full on bisexual.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
I think I just sharted jello shots
Randomize
