I just peed in my kitchenbs sinlk. New low- maybe. am i embarrassed? Not in the least
i went to disney world today with my friends, met snow white, then saw her later at a bar. she is naked next to me in her bed, passwed out. when you wish upon a star...
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
My mom called me and we started arguing as usual. I finally screamed at her "I HEAR YOU AND THAT 30 YEAR OLD FUCKING!" and hung up. She hasn't called back yet. I win.
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I actually bought food at McDonald's as an apology for what I was about to do to their bathroom.
Note to self; if you can light it on fire, you probs shouldn't drink it
A guy just picked up ur brother and carfied him away singing and im slight concern
please come here right now, that girl who always gets her boob out is here and she brought taco bell
I should stop using "Braveheart would do it" as a basis for decision making...
I think I had sex with a seagull last night. The window is open and there a feathers everywhere.
A friendship for the ages born on how horny we both are
It's obvious you're hotter. You've been doing a married guy for almost 2 years.
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