i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
My dad just called from upstairs on the house phone to tell me to bring him a beer. You tell me how I am.
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Stop whining I left you with whiskey
YOU LEFT ME WITH WHISKEY ALONE IN A CABIN IN THE MIDDLE OF NOWHERE I AM GOING TO DIE.
if you didn' use the plastic sword on the cop. maybe this wouldn't have happened.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
Ya know what's been the best part of this College Football Season? Not having to hear Brent Musberger say the Honey Badger 77 fucking times.
Is it bad that I've been making new friends through your vagina networking? I don't think so
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Do you think there are two dudes living in an apartment somewhere that go to the store and call it Brocery shopping?
Oh god...probably.
You kept running around yelling "I need my pajamas" & then you got naked. Shit just went downhill from there.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Am I the only person in the world that does not give a shit about the avengers?
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
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