I just got a ticket for shitting on a sand dune.
I just tried to drunkenly fart the beat of Disturbia by Rihanna
'Watching yourself cry on Photobooth' is the new 'watching yourself cry in the mirror.'
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
the best part about watching a meteor shower at 4 am is being able to masturbate in public and drink hot chocolate at the same time.
I guess so. I don't really give a fuck. I think I'm going to jerk off really loudly tonight just to keep them on their toes
did u get his digits?
yes his name is chazbangbangbang according to my phone...
If you are drunk already, then as your friend I am advising you to stop writing on your dads Facebook wall
I only saw you for about 5 min, but you were rambling about how not even the whiskey could make you fight the skeleton guards.
Ryan got so drunk he gave a hobo $20 and I had to zip tie him to the bed so he doesn't out stupid himself
So you let the Viking explore your nether regions?
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
He told me he sees me like a sister then 10 mins later tried to make out with me.
I'm naked on my couch and just ate a chip that was in my belly button.. my 20s have been weird.
This is the most aggressive rendition of that Proclaimers song I ever heard.
Randomize
