my mom walked in on me smoking weed alone, listening to the eagles, and just staring at the river. she totally knew.
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
A guy in a big stork costume just came to our meeting to give us condoms and t-shirts telling us not to get pregnant. Only at college
That girl gave me her number because you were arrested. I am so proud of you dude.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what the fuck is a social media consultant, who does she consult for, and how bad is she at it? her facebook account is currently hacked and posting ads for the ipad 2 on my newsfeed
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I want you to read this conversation tomorrow and be proud of the fact that you taught me how to decipher any drunk message. Good job.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You guys I wore sweatpants to work today because I simply forgot to put on real pants and I had a weed brownie and a juice box for breakfast. I am not ready for parenting.
I'm excited I love mornings when I'm not sober
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
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