so I just asked a Chinese man and found out our tattoos actually mean vagina...
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Someone just pulled taco bell tacos out of their purse in class....2 problems with here. 1) this class is nutrition 2) taco bell is not open this early.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
He sent me a Microsoft outlook meeting request to blow him in the storage room at work. I had to accept.
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
She's riding a bike down the street and drinking brown liquor. A pt cruiser is honking at her and she's like I HEAR YOU!!
The paramedics said she just kept whispering "I just wanted to party"
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
On another note, I almost lost one side of my fake butt. Dancing the wobble with the fake butt isn't recommend.
I'm sexting at my family's 4th of July BBQ and I feel no shame....
Let's just say when I woke up I was still drunk. My hangover hit me around noon so I chilled w my dad and took a bath and shower at the same time. You just can't do that at college
Where are you guys?
Drunk
Randomize
