I just pynch a tree in the face
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
and that's how I found out my dad doesn't believe in towels... holiday magic.
So I've officially decided that I AM that drunken mistake that girls hate themselves for in the morning.
I was in bed at 845. Affairs take a lot out of people
My mom said that if she can come this weekend, she'll buy the weed.
hey, this is the ginger girl from the party...i've thought about it and I wanna join the american girl drinking team
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'll get you through man, I'll be your fairy godmother with better prescription drugs
I was the girl at the bar last night passing out free condoms and making sure everyone knew how to use them to keep the population down
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
You yelled to anyone that tried to help you "I have a burrito, what else could a girl want?"
not sure when or how we ended up at this wedding party but you need to be here they are handing out screwdrivers and Yamakas to everyone and it's a got damn open bar you need to be here now
I shouldn't have that kind of responsibility when the prospect of being high is readily available. All I could do was hula hoop and smoke cigarettes last night. My remembrance of anything important was out the window.
I mean...he danced with his dick still inside of me. What more could a girl ask for?
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