Riding a fattie is like riding a scooter, its ok just not in public.
Dude if you're in another zip code it doesn't count
You don't understand. I'm not like you.
So while she was giving me a lap dance I told her I quit med school. Just so she didn't feel like the only one who's made bad decisions in their life.
Saying you want a bj does not count as saying you wanna see me btw.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
If the boyfriend of the drunk girl you just met asks her if she made a "special friend" you're going to have a threesome. For future reference.
Dude shes not that fat. Plus, last night I probably would've done it too.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
Well if she's the kinda girl that doesn't want you after seeing a pic of your balls squeezed together, she's not the girl for you.
i don't think fitbit tracks "flipping the fuck out" as activity.
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
In what world does 'I'm awake' at 2:30 in the morning on a wednesday translate to 'let's fuck' in the span of one text? Where has the romance gone?
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