There was a point where some of my friends attempted 'moi's', which stands for makeout on introduction.
It involved going up to women and very aggressively trying to make out with them upon meeting them
Surprisingly the success rate was exceedingly high
Penelope Cruz needs to learn American words.
You better have your party panties on Saturday!
Why only Saturday?
Well I have an AA meeting Sat morning so I'm going to try to take it easy Fri.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Like if I don't roll around in my puke, the night will be a failure.
Might just stay in and drink cuz of the hurricane. Yea I think Wisconsin might be safe but its a good reason to drink.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
And I wasn't prepared because its been a very long and lonely season and I wasn't expecting to find dick at Press Box trivia night....
I wore a shirt that says "more tequila" to my bday party last year and that's why I want to be my own friend
I'm giving head in a stairwell, I'll be back in a few minutes. I'm so ashamed.
He's a real gentleman. At least he tried to flush my closet's handle after he pissed in it.
He was super adorable, like I wanna pinch his cheeks while I fuck him...
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
whenever i get involved w someone i'm gonna give you their number to testify to the fact that they should not fall in love with me
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