some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
He told me he breastfed 'til he was six. That explains the obsession with me getting fake tits. Is it a red flag?
You know how hard it is to play cool while not drowning and appreciating a pair of butts at the same time?
We are going to need a water proof camera with a flash....exit routes....lots of booze.....and a tutu for good measure
Looks like I've become the Walter White of my PhD cohort.
If you really loved me, you'd support my weed habit.
As the person who squeezed you out of my vagina, the answer is no.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
I'd like to thank you for ensuring I didn't die. Id also like to show you the most impressive bruise you will perhaps ever see
I'm trying to arrange "Flawless" to come on as soon as I get up to leave the room after my thesis defense. Bow down bitches indeed.
My concern for you and peanut butter is the reason I am still awake.
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
I would offer you moral support, but I have questionable morals..
Be there in 6 mins I’m smell like fireball. and strippers and need to use your showers before go home
Randomize
