Bike broken, reschedule party till thursday:(
Dude I wish you were here. I'm innthe back seat and it looks like outer space and everything feels like rice. idk. wtf.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
i just woke up at 8pm naked in my bed, with a fresh haircut. I wonder what barber i went to.
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
We learned many a lesson today about drug use in canoes
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
The only thing left on my Bucket List is getting fingered at an aquarium.
I swear to the sweet baby jesus I didn't fill your freezer with salsa and my little pony toys, but I didn't stop them either.
I managed to break 3 nails and loose my stockings, but I made 87 dollars at the strip club. I asked where I could find an application on the way out.
Can't be considered a walk of shame if you pick up donuts on the way home
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
