When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
no. i just ate a whole thing of hot dogs. me and regret are sleepng alone tonigh.
We can grow old together and our livers can fail together
you wore rainboots all night because you said the forecast called for wine spillage
So can we talk about how we all three made out with the bike taxi driver in lieu of paying him. I'm not even mad, that's resourceful. You know what married girls would have had to do? They'd have had to pay.
Yeah he's definitely gonna feel that one when he wakes up. I beat the shit out of him with that broom handle.
so hungover ... i gave my nephew five bucks to go blow bubbles for an hour in the kitchen.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
You were outside cuddling a rock singing Bohemian Rhapsody.
Happy Birthday. May your liver respect you, fat bitches neglect you, hangovers reject you, and AA accept you.
I disagree, if your last name is Weiner then the sending of dick pics should be mandatory. I'd give him a pass.
I came in shy and timid. By the end of the night I hulked out broke two lamps, their coffee table, some plates, and still had sex.
I will feed you tacos. I will touch your butt. Happy Valentine's Day ❤️
There is eyeliner on my toilet. Vodka and I have a love hate relationship.
How was your day?
Peaceful. I left the house to get paid and get fried chicken.
Randomize
