tell her no need for introductions. and that you've read about her on the back of toilet doors.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
Scott woke me up by cracking a beer open in my face. Best friends are awesome.
It was pretty bad. Like cum-on-my-face-while-singing-Let-It-Snow bad.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
Immediately after I scarfed down an Applebee's appetizer trio for lunch, my boss sent me on an hour long road trip to pick up some parts. Great. I can't wait to shit my pants on US-31 South.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Go christen that room with your naked body.
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
All I remember is allowing my uber driver to pull over on the side of the road to give me a massage. I was alone
He said "I can't believe I had sex with a cat lady". Am I flattered or is this a new low?
lord you gonna make me abandon my soup for tasteful catboy nudes
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