Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
weed brownie and a latte, breakfast of champions
Exactly. wat kind of friend would i be if i even pretended to give a shit about ur problems
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I feel like my vagina stays drunk longer than the rest of me. It's always super sensitive and hungry the day after drinking.
I wish the sun would stop judging me for being drunk while it's still shining.
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
It's fun yes. But hard on the body. I woke up with her purse, socks and one of her shoes in my room. The other shoe was outside. What the fuck were we doing last night?
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
Can we just talk about the fact that the last time I got laid I was wearing a Jurassic Park tshirt?
I am pants-free in the living room. This is liberating.
My feet surprised me
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
