the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Most the numbers in my phone are mistakes. It's a virtual graveyard of people I should never pick up for.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
please don't let me die tonight
what have you done for me lately?
OK WHO CHANGED MY RING TONE TO LADY AND THE TRAMP AND CHANGED EVERY CONTACT IN MY PHONE TO 'SOME GUY I FUCKED'?
Sending a dick pic with a 2010 time stamp on it is violation of proper sexting etiquette
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hey my vagina is like a company. Everyone has an equal opportunity....
All I see when I think of you are dancing penis angels around your head.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
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