I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
Bad news is im a slut again. Good news is its with people ive been a slut with before.
Hungover Fun Fact #4: Eating a grilled stuffed burrito WILL make you blow chunks in the ice maker at work.
Dude she was 62...with a boob job. And I'm proud to say I made out with that.
4 to the list in one week. Slutsville isn't as fun as the brochure promised.
He compliments me like a gay guy and fucks me like a starved nympho. I'm in love.
You haven't had the true md experience until you've had your crotch grabbed by a drunk stripper with a snaggle tooth in front of your coworkers.
No, we got so into acting out our role play characters we didn't even fuck. still sucess.
You flew out of the bedroom, stole two Solo cups from the beer pong table, put them on your feet, clicked your heels together three times
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
They had to take me to the ER because I got a concussion in a parking garage. Not partying with lesbians for a while
Crowning achievement. I bought ranch dressing and emergency contraception.
I PUT IT IN THE UNIVERSE THAT I WANTED TO STAB HIM AND THEN SOMEONE DID! KARMA IS A BITCH AND SHE IS BEAUTIFUL!
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
You still owe me one bodily function mess clean up.
You pee on the floor one time and you never hear the end of it...
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