im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Getting 10 cents back for every can is really just encouraging alcoholism.
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
This hickey is now green and covers half my neck. I have an alien hickey. I think he thought my neck was dinner.
Regardless of age or alcohol consumption, the knowledge that my dad spanks my mom sexually has the very real potential to fuck my shit up.
I don't care how hungry or impatient you are. the highest setting on the microwave is 100% and you better not take it appart to add power. This is not the Enterprise.
I need someone to play with my boobs. Even platonically. I just need a good groping
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
At first it will make you think "how is this physically possible?" and then it will ruin an entire food group for you.
His penis is the only thing worth pursuing but all the baggage attached isn't.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
Randomize
