dude my grandmas the shit. she has a sixth grade education and got hit by a car when she was 18. she cant smell.
I'm in that akward stage between jailbait and cougar
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
Honestly dude, i think you should ignore the restraining order if you really love her.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
He then proceeded to tell me about his enlarged lymph nodes, his"severe" case of blue balls.
You said you couldnt get the condom on but "its the thought that counts"
hot doctor. gonna get him to touch my tits. 'think i felt a lump' excuse in 3-2-1...
now were playing what girl doesnt belong in the picture of girls in bikinis.
There are empty beer cans all over and the go-kart is missing. I need it for my halloween costume.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Couple of things: my nipples are blue and knowing that at some point I'm going to have to poop is incredibly terrifying
I made it to work. Still drunk. Definitely pregnant.
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
Randomize
