I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
No awkward lesbian experiences without me
I wish there was an iPhone app to help you with your shitty personality.
I must have had a great time last night.. I woke up with coconut oil all over my glasses
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
I have a running excel spreadsheet detailing the number of shots in a night and subsequent ability to masturbate
I tipped the hot bartender my entire wallet. Again.
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
come home. i made deep-fried hotdogs; don't let me die alone.
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
OK BUT WHO THE FUCK FORGTS A LIVE CHICKEN IN MY HOUSE
Having Father’s Day on Pride weekend is always so awkward. “Hey dad just calling to say I love you.” While I’m navigating my way through a pop up pool at a bar riding a penis floatie. Happy Father’s Day.
when the cops came she just started yelling at them "Fuck the police! freedom of speech bitches!"
Randomize