what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
apparently drunk me likes to play hide the puke.. was not a fun time washing all my legos.
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
You should kill a bro for me and drag his carcass home so I can study him.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
You put on some guys Birkenstocks that were abandoned on the dance floor overtop of your flats. Then ran out of the bar high gives the bouncer and said "look at my new kicks" then he was like woah wait a minute someone is missing those and made you return them. You were very upset
Learn from my mistakes, you naive soul: Gay love triangles are just as dangerous as straight love triangles.
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Randomize
