I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
that's the type of pussy you go to the bathroom and wack off before you fuck her, just to last longer inside of her!
i just saw my boxers from 2 days ago stuck in a tree 4 miles from my house
there should be a rule- if you jizz on it, you wash it
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It was horrifying, i havent seen a girls mouth open that wide since that one episode of Goosebumps..
I stole a fireplace last night.
the night probably should have been over when the guy let her fill out my mechanical bull waver for me because i couldn't read
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
If you're going to do that you're going to need a pleather suit.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Also I’m on 3%. Just Incase.. I miss you and I love you and you’re my everything and I’m getting drunk.
Randomize
