You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
I don't remember his name but he sat in the bathroom and gave us both advice...
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
It took him three days to realize his roommate had moved out.
I gained confidence after I found out she was a lesbian. At least that way I could flirt with her and convince her to buy me taco bell after the bar
So after tonight I now have 6 Harry Potter movies left to get laid to. Before tonight it was 8. Fucking right
Relationships are fuckin' work. And you can't just up and leave with no questions when you really just need to get home because you're about to shit your pants.
You're so wise.
I'm currently on a bowling date with my girlfriend and her boyfriend. It's pretty fun.
I don't think I bit anyone but I woke up to scrapes knees, bruises and new friends.
Trying to stay sober at a family function but hiccuping so fucking loud. "Have you been drinking?" I hit on my cousin so yeah. I have been drinking.
Dude I had sex with her and she STILL thinks I'm gay. I don't know what else to do.
I just don't understand why we can't have sex in the house. I'll come see you but I'll have to think about the barn thing.
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
Her hot older sister walked in on us, looked me up and down, then stared straight at her and said "I call sloppy seconds on this one" then left. I'm still debating on how I feel about that.
I stole a block of cheese from the party last night and put it in my purse but I got so drunk that I left my purse on the floor and my dog ate it.
Randomize
