You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
it's like iHOP with fire
drunk...on the white house tour...security is staring. this will not end well.
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
Why doesn't the washer have a puke setting?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
Someone broke into my car and stole it then left me $300 to pay for the damages with a lovely note that said "we just couldn't pass up the boxed wine... Sorry about the window."
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
He held my hand in public and I nearly came. Like he needs to be inside of me yesterday.
We go out and drink, fuck, and I stay the night. He agrees to it because he knows I'll hook him up to IV fluids in the morning. Everyone wins
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
