She had hickeys... what's up with that?? HAHAHA
My entire life is one complicated drinking game
for me the strap perfect is like a chastity belt
matt and i tucked you in... you REFUSED to move your head from under the bed.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Its 6 am and me and the girl in the next apartment have been taking turns puking and yelling "never agaaaain" thru the walls.
we were totes just talking about. huu in the bathbub. 5 girlszzz
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
You are going to come home to a suitcase in the fridge. Just go with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Did you put Dave Matthews band on the playlist? It's really hard to funnel when "Crash Into Me" kicks in.
If you ever feel goofy just think of the fact that I just shaved the batman symbol into my pubes
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
Next thing I know her tits are out on my desk. It was straight out of a porno. What was I supposed to do I’m not made of stone
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