Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
I sharted in my sleep... I didnt even think that was possible.
I found it funny that her boobs actually kinda felt like a bag of sand. the 40 year old virgin should feel better about himself.
id like to point out that while i was just peeing a condom fell out of my vag.
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
Just be happy that you're the pretty friend. Otherwise you would have had to walk home alone, like me.
Apparently getting drunk at a philanthropy event and tweeting about it is "frowned up"
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
I am a good friend because I got you a bagel. I am a bad friend because I ate half of it.
I feel like a bottle of fireball rented a bull dozer and ran me over until I was left without a shred of my dignity
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
Everyone in Columbus is two degrees of separation from my vagina.
Whats spookier? Halloween or waking up to a drunk text from your ex telling you how awesome you are at 2am
Randomize
