Buhtt sex?
There is no way to make a throwing up smiley so just picture it....
What ever happened to making out with a few boob grabs here and there?
I can't try on my wedding dress because someone is trying to commit suicide in the store. Is this a sign?
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This is the last weekend of getting drunk and having sex all nite with the plumber. I'm exhausted all weekend and I'm never going to finish the remodel at this rate
Just bought all my wine for the weekend with a check at 11am. I'm almost judging myself.
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
I had to break up with him he didn't understand my priorities. I'm sorry but Saturday nights are for pot and Doctor Who. I'm not going to change who I am.
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I SHITYOUNOT DAN JUST PUNCHED A DEER IN THE FACE. MID LEAP.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
Put on your bikini and meet me at the pool \nit’s cock o’clock!
Now I know Sunday Funday means fucking till you loose your voice.
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