Got a little crazy huh? Happy st pattys day. None of you have any idea where my credit card would be do you? How do i always lose
i'm watching a show about a girl who died from masterbating with a carrot. A FUCKING CARROT, EMILY! YOU NEED TO BE CAREFUL!
Saxophones in my mind. I swear someone dosed me.
SHE SITS THERE LIKE A DICK LIKE AN ACTUAL DICK JUST LIMP AND DUMB AND BLAH
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Dude random question. Where you with me when the vulture got electrocuted from the power lines and fell on the sidewalk in front of us?
Shout out to this stomach virus for helping me prepare for whatever slutty Halloween costume I decide to wear.
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I don't know how to reply to him. 'I'm glad the ecstasy my friend tricked you into taking wore off'...? It just doesn't seem sincere
I'm now at a gay bar with our relatives
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Can I just go naked and covered in glitter?
i don't know when underwear became an acceptable clothing choice for parties, but god help me i hope this isn't a passing trend.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
holy shit! you were walking down a hill and just happened to be passing a trash can like 4 ft away and projectile vomited over a fence into the trash can. kept walking and drank a beer.
Randomize
