Fuck u you updated twitter but didn't answer my text
I know you're alive
I think we were cool up until the point where he saw that planned parenthood was on my speed dial.
The cab driver had me sign for the payment and I was like give me a second while I throw up right outside your door.
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Theres a picture of you hanging up on the wall in mcdonalds, i'm impressed
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
No padding. I spent my whole summer with my nips out. October don't need that too.
lesson #1 of freshman year: grinding with a sombrero is difficult
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
with great strapon comes great responsibility.
National champion athletes like gay butt sex, too. I'm just here to help them out.
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
If I don't get alcohol poisoning from tonight I don't think i ever will.
Randomize
