so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
I'm concerned you might be passed out on a random rooftop right now. Not concerned enough to do anything about it. Hope you're alive. Goodnight.
He probably smells like baby powder and sexual identity crisis.
Do you think a former stripper/heroin addict constitutes as a high risk sexual partner?
You're not required to sleep with every guy that spends $10 on you.
She is singing the swedish chef song and throwing utensils. I love this place
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
In case you wake up wondering why your eyes hurt... You were claiming to be Zeus and that mortal weapons couldn't harm you. Some chick took it as a challenge and pepper sprayed you. Sorry dude.
I only call her for sex and medical advice. She admitted she feels like a worried parent when her phone rings at 5 a.m.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
I won't let penises inside me if you won't let tequila inside you, deal?
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
10/10 would definitely still fuck you dressed as squirrel
I owe you an apology, I was appointed captain of this sexy fuckship and I fell asleep at the helm.
Randomize
