I figured girls wouldn't be down to sleep w/ a guy who plugged a pregnant chick
I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Really? You have stories that rival having a threesome with the two best friends of the guy your kinda seeing? Thats impressive.
Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
I say that when we get our grades back we're making a drinking game out of it.
You tried to get me to kick my booty call out at 3am by tempting me with a trip to ihop
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
When you woke up the first word out of your mouth was "whoa"
I was feeling the aftermath of his penis
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Needless to say, I did not go home with him cause he kinda resembled a guppy fish.
If you find my integrity anywhere, please tell it to come back home
1 fuck you 2 fuck her 3 ur forgiven 4 im breaking up with her
You kept crying and I couldnt help but laugh at you, I was really high though.
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