Would it be quicker to bike the freeway home?
does your mom think i'm crazy? i just realized i played both the gay dad and the ex-jew card tonight. i blame the wine
when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
i just walked by a road side game of beer pong? it's gonna be a long day
I woke up this morning with my hair wrecked, a split lip, and an "H" on my right knee and a "I!" on my other knee.
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
No, i went to get it done but the guy couldnt find it. exhibit A of why i wanted a clit piercing in the first place.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
just tried to scoop ice cream with a steak knife. now in the emergency room with a the cab diver and the drag queen he picked up on the way. its gonna be a loooong day.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
You said you liked how I put the cream cheese on.
My New Year's resolution is to chill out on the group sex. At least with my friends anyway.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
Dude my toilet did not deserve what I just did to it
I threw up in 4 different Starbucks across the city before 9 am.
Randomize
