ahhh, you guys look like a cute little family in the cop car!
i just want his dick, seriously i'm about to take trifiling lessons. we'll call my alter-ego blair and she will screw his brains out, girlfriend or not.
walk of shame with early morning football tailgaters. niice.
In the future let's not drunk dive in the fountain in front of the hotel bar.
Hey do you have a way to post bail? If not we can hook you up. If a police officer is reading this please ask him and respond in a timely fashion. I am concerned for my imprisoned friend
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
Tomorrow's thirsty thursday is now sponsored by the three time champion, chemisty failure. celebration starts asap.
The usual, im laying out. Ipod on shuffle, Large spray bottle to cool myself of and a smaller one filled with chilled vodka. I can spray the vodka right in my mouth without even opening my eyes. THIS IS LIVING....
What happened after I vommed in your shirt that I was wearing and threw it out the window on the highway?
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
i woke up with a kayak in my amazon shopping cart with 1 wrong digit on my credit card and the transaction wasn't going through.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
The bar brought brought it upon themselves, they played billy joels piano man before closing, it's not our fault the bar isn't a bar anymore, right?
The best part of last night is not remembering half of it
Randomize
