Say my name once during sex just to fuck with her. Like when it gets rough.
Just applied online. Cant stop hiccupping. May be drunk. Hope they liked my smiley faces.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
It was one of those "I have no idea if this will ever happen again so I can't say no" opprotunities. Part of me was like, "You slut" and the bigger part was screaming, "Hell yeah"
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
She wasn't to happy when she went to put her shirt on and it was covered in cum I just looked at her and said collateral damage....
Do you know who the random guy who just walked in to kiss me goodnight is?
How long after mardi gras is it considered okay to wake up topless and wearing beads?
Hypothetical Question: Would you take a cougar bullet for me?
We decided to make playlists for each other. Do you know any songs that say "sorry I'm not as hot as your prostitute ex?"
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Just woke up with the taste of tequila, weed, and cigarettes in my mouth spooning a friend I haven't seen since college wearing one contact and one ankle sock. I hate myself.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
what did we do after we left your crib?
you layed down in some rocks for about an hour, you stole some pumpkins, you passed out and started shaking, we got t-bell, we took you back to the dorm.
Randomize
