Stop everything. They have oreo straws to drink milk with and then you eat the straw. I think i just got turned on by a cookie commercial.
I know they r crazy. However porn on a big screen is an easy commitment. They come with mute, stop, fast fwd and replay buttons. if only all women came that way...
No matter how fun it seemed the night before you will always regret taking those pictures, you will always regret eating as much as you did, but you will never regret the great lengths you had to got to get those bruises.
Your TV has the DVD menu for White Chicks permanently burned into the screen. I can't anymore. That's just a whole different level that I cannot comprehend.
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
He wanted a handjob during a John Wayne movie. I just couldn't find it in my heart to disrespect that man. John Wayne that is.
I can't wait to be a mother. My daughters gonna outdrink every boy in her grade
Sorry for trying to force you and Robert to make out. I didn't realize how awkward it was until I woke up today.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
she didnt realize that i was putting on the same condom i used the night before with some other girl
Yepp, I had to be the one to explain that the girl who was slapping people in the face with a dildo was my drunk girlfriend.
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
Randomize
