Well if yoir are still awake and secided to drink... You may aswell drink
That text needs to switch to water.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Besides Rainforest Cafe, there's nowhere i'd rather be intoxicated than here
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girl in front of me in lecture is looking up on ask.com about chlamydia.
he just fed my chickens on farmville...i guess that's his way of saying thanks for the sex<3
Weekdays seemed more exciting when I had a drinking problem. Like I had something to look forward to at night.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Odd start to the day - the FBI just showed up at my apartment.
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
don't think less of me for this, but i'm pretty sure he did a line off my boob last night.
sad thing: we were only a shot away from an orgy. good thing: we all got laid.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
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