I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
time for a it's-monday-night-and-this-week-is-gunna-suck-drink.
I found this letter on my leg this morning "dear sober self- we are one body now. It's weird but get used to it because it already happened" who the fuck is lionman?
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
As i was walking home this morning some old lady was walking her dog and i said hello to her as our paths in life met, then i proceeded to puke in someones front yard and never looked back
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
you take my contact solution?
drank it last night then filled it with brandy for the plane ride.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
How many times have we said we'd stop taking Jell-O shots with strangers?
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Bruise count after new years, 7. 2018 is looking up.
You texted me a picture of some random naked guy. Did you lose your virginity?
Randomize