i overslept, had to take a cab to the train station, might puke, bought the wrong flavored vitamin water, and mj's dead. what a terrible world to wake up to.
You always know it is going to end badly when a guy asks if he met you at a "coed naked lawn bowling party"
My tits are coming out a minimum of ten times
I mean, once you get beat with a dildo you can't look at someone the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
Legitimate logistical question....how did you pee in your duct tape dress?
you seemed to enjoy falling down hill
wow, never heard the last few months of my life put so succint
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Doc gave me something stronger than Xanax. The pills have your last name imprinted on them. This cannot be coincidence.
The school security guard knows my name.... I think I'm missing some memories...
Can I borrow you for, like, thirty minutes so you can lay on one boob and rub the other until I fall asleep?
I'm determined to sit on that face.
I'm done, I have no more memes or ways to ask for nudes, so yeah
Your parents are gone and we haven't fucked in their bed... why?
Randomize