I am spending my child support on dildos
i must have dtf stamped on my forehead
just threw up nine times in the shower.. solid night last night.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
he payed over $300 just to break into the hotel pool and skinny dip alone for 5 minutes and then peace in a cab. and all he had to say for himself was "gotta go swimming, gotta live life"
where do u find these people!?
My radar detector detects ice cream trucks. I think it was made for stoners
Then mom squeezed my boob and said, "Dad would go nuts if I had these..."
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Its okay that he doesn't remember you, he only remembers girls by their boobs and I think you were wearing a jacket
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
Thank you for deleting me from Instagram. Also, I'm carrying your child. Happy new year!
Have I told you i love you?
there's no need we are two peas in a naughty pod of fuckery
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