As we walked into his room, he said welcome to the hurt locker. I should have left, but I love that movie.
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
I'm drunk at the doctor. It's not that fun. Overrated in fact.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
She sprinted out of the bathroom and ran all the way into the middle of the street. Five minutes later she came back with a banana nut muffin. She's that kind of drunk.
Just so we're clear, that's a yes to the honey, but if you get marshmallow fluff anywhere near my body we are never doing this again
I mean...he was throwing up for almost 3 consecutive hours. I don't think there's a chance in hell that would have tasted even close to tolerable.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
When I realised he had a girlfriend I just started telling them about my ex and how I write poetry about him. Which I then read to them. They just gave me pity looks and left me to finish my spliff alone.
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
I woke up with jello shots in pant pockets so I must've had fun
For the record you're a very classy lady and your love for and mastery of strap-ons is amazing. I would gladly marry you and father your offspring
And then you screamed, "I JUST WANNA POUR MAPLE SYRUP ALL OVER HIM AND RAVISH HIS BODY!!"
Btw you guys passed out eating DP dough and watching Pocahontas... on a monday
it was stoner heaven..
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