its good for cellulite if you don't wear underwear. its true
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
You were right. It hurts to walk today.
maybe you should do the old hyperventilate, take a shot of vodka, sniff someone's hair trick
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
It was that same situation where "cuddling on the floor" was actually just code for "rough shameful hate sex" hahaha.
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Put down the bong. Turn off Hey Arnold. Stop calling me football head.
I love you football head
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
If making out with three guys at once at a Kesha concert while simultaneously smearing glitter all over yourself doesn't convince her you're gay, nothing will
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
Can you send me the pic of me puking with a quesadilla on my shoulder
Looking back, we probably shouldn't have chased alcohol with more alcohol
drunkkkkk be here I heart you
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