At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
Some guy just bought a handle of cuervo, a curling iron, and a power drill. Paid with a jar of change. I'm torn between avoiding him and befriending him..
Don't worry about it. Anal sex isn't always sunshine and wildflowers.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
A nice make out session never hurt anyone. Plus he's a pilot, so he'll know the safety procedures for when the night crashes and burns.
I have a weapon and I'm not blacked out. Good as gold
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
I paid your brother in tostitos to drive me home.
it still weirds me out that Robin Thicke is Alan Thicke's son
If the ex isent in town and im crying under a table somewhere because of it can we go to a drag show or something
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
I'm ordering sushi and crying over finals. Come over and bring wine.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
Oh yeah, you are a real peach except for shitting uncontrollably and bleeding out of your face.
It was a bad idea to take ecstasy with cats in the house. No animal likes being touched that much. Let me know how your eye feels tomorrow
Randomize
