Most awkward sex ever...
And im texting you in the middle.
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
this will be a night to untag.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
just found a bag of Oreos in my purse labeled "emergency".
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
She thinks I'm afraid I'm gonna get caught in one of my lies and some of the girls I'm fucking will find out about each other. But it would be a relief to offload a few from the old crop and work in a few newbies into the rotation. The organization could use some new blood.
It stopped being casual for me when I waxed my vagina for you
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
He loves blowjobs.. were meant for each other.
please don't ironically join a cult
Randomize
