Does adding vodka to a protein shake defeat the purpose?
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
i dont mean to point any fingers but there is a lot of urine in the kitchen
Just opened a beer with eyelash curlers... miss you.
why is there cat hair all over my deoderant?
she wanted to smell more freshershest than you.
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
I woke up on your bathroom floor, i used your towel I found laying on the floor as a cape to get to your bed. I thought it would help me walk straight if I looked like a superhero
Just purchased ketchup, body wash, and lube. Hope you're ready for the post-memorial-day-cookout-shower-anal.
how do you play pong handcuffed?
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Bold words for someone NOT on a unicycle
So I'm buying milk, bread, yogurt & lube. Not awkward at all
Basic items
Randomize
