So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I swear to god Kristen, if this "cute" guy you are trying to hook up with's friend asks me if we can role play, and I play his mother one more time, Im leaving. You have 3 minutes to save me or I am out.
Driving with balloons in your car is more annoying than that bubble fart that doesn't leave your ass after your previous fart.
nah, its part of my diet to keep track of the servings of everything i put into my body
how many servings is brandon's dick?
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
she asked if mt Rushmore was natural or man made
do you think I can still get an erection if I donate blood today? this is important.
Either I just got hit on by a 10 year old.girl dressed like a boy or I just got hit on by a midget lesbian. Either way I feel uncomfortable
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Well the other day she asked me how often I jerk off. So I guess things are getting semi-serious
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
if having to see my ex’s dick once in a while is the price I pay to the universe for making my life go a little smoother, I’ll take it
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
Randomize
