thanks for house sitting, cat must be hiding again... everything go ok?
... about that ...
woke up this morning wit a massive hangover. walked to my truck and found at least 35 for sale signs, a stop sign, and a julie kim sign...need answers
yea, you decided to become a real estate agent last night on the way home from the party. You started bitchin about how Julie Kim was stealing all your buisness....
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
Please do NOT set off the smoke alarm when I am tied to the bed like this...
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I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
i was wearing footie pjs. how could there be confusion as to who i hooked up with, thats not something you forget
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
He showed up in booty shorts and no shirt and said dont laugh dont ask questions and give me a fucking final and no one in class said anything we just sat there speehless
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
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Sex-sore abs and my workout pants have gravel stains on the knees. It's like the workout of shame.
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
idk i was trying to watch Fuller House and you got up out of a dead sleep, just in your boxers, said "no more Dave Coulier" and walked out to the living room and unplugged the router
I just remembered that the guy I slept with last night has "USDA PRIME" tattooed on his ass
She was blacked out at her own party. It felt good to stand next to her while she laid on the floor and say "vomit does not look good on you."
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