"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Thanks to blow jobs, my margarita's at the bar are only 3dollars.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
1 stripper is 160/hr. 2 strippers is 280/hr. it would be fiscaly irresponsible to only get one.
i dont know, i woke up and he was going down on me. i guess i can save his number
I knew he cared when I got his text "happy birthday to the girl who gives phenomenal head"
Shit, my parents are coming over and I just realized that a grinder is not an acceptable paperweight
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I didn’t eat all day. Got really drunk at a bruins game and puked in a random dunkies cup on the T
If that doesn’t scream I’m from New England, I don’t know what does
so let me get this straight you just stared at his boner all night?
Randomize
