I haven't been this sober since birth.
There were 4 naked women demanding my presence. Of COURSE I got into the pool.
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I'm pretty sure the girl in the stall next to me is waiting on me to leave so she can poop but I'm doing the same thing so it's like a Mexican standoff
Also I'm proud of us for having an educational conversation in this group text.
He just texted me asking for his shirt back and I said I didn't have it and then I ran into him 5 minutes later while wearing the said shirt
I just made mac at 3:10 am... My life is falling apart...
Oh yeah I meant to tell you the Tomb Raider looking girl so crop dusted me on the stairway
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
when your dumb AF ex “accidentally” venmos you $50 and texts you asking for it back..... —sorry I accidentally deleted your number and cashed out
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