Yeah we had sex for the first time last night and all the text he sent me afterwards said was “heh”
Omg. It looks like a crack pipe exploded in your mouth.
It's officially time to start saving up weed money for the NCAA tournament
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
Please make the clown in the corner stop judging me. I mean he's the one with paint on his face. I don't need him judge judying me.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
its not that I hate him, it's just that I wish his penis was attached to someone i like more
And everyone was looking at me because it was cold and I was drunk and may have screamed "oh fuck" ... You know what, fuck that. What do people think they're getting at Denny's 2 in the morning
I thought my neighbors locked me out of the building. Then I remembered I was drunk. PUSH AND TURN.
Welp just ran into my high school history teacher while buying a pregnancy test...there goes my veil of innocence in this town.
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
What do you mean relationship? He paid for my tires and I gave him a blow job.
Randomize
