You're a womanizer and a bitch.
So I think we're almost at the age where we should start calling boys men. Now what age do they start living up to the new title?
Most never. Some around 65.
My roommate has every episode of Full House. I'm going to fail my midterm tomorrow.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Tell her you can forgive her unacceptable behavior because her dad and his dog weren't married when they conceived her.
i will pay you if you can come get me. he just suggested that we would have a hockey themed wedding.
Hey did where's my bong?
In the tree out back .... Top branch on the right
Should I bother to ask?
P.S. I just watched The Muppets. I feel like I just got a sadness enema.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He could smell the liquor on my breath. Fuck. I thought he would smell French toast.
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
I mean I kinda plunged vagina first into my last relationship
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
I took a vibrator for a weekend with my parents instead of a boyfriend. I obviously have my life together.
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
